


Where we belong

by Rainbow_Paladork



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: "let's end this" more like let's end this poor boy's anxiety problems, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Crying, Episode eleven fucked me up guys, Fluff and Angst, Hugging, Kissing, M/M, Unreliable narrator strikes again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2016-12-15
Packaged: 2018-09-08 21:49:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8863996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainbow_Paladork/pseuds/Rainbow_Paladork
Summary: It's true that Yuuri wanted to be hated as the man who took Viktor away from the world, but he never meant to take Viktor's world away from him.  My interpretation of the polemic "let's end this" preview of episode eleven.





	

He was not okay and even if he had tried to hide it, everyone would have noticed. Yuuri cursed himself over and over for the execution of his short program, _for how you performed you should have chosen maths over love as your theme this year_ he said angrily to himself as he kept on answering the questions the interviewers shot at him nonstop. Immediately after they left him alone, he started looking for his coach and fiance, who seemed nowhere to be found at the time.

When he found Viktor, he wasn't able of making a move or a noise. He just stood there and watched him, took in the nostalgia and need for the ice his eyes reflected. A knot formed in his stomach as he stayed static, not wanting to get more in the way that he already had. 

He didn't want that expression in Viktor's beautiful face. He loved him and wanted him to be happy.

* * *

"Yuuri? What's wrong _moya lyubov_? Tired?" asked Viktor once they closed the door of their shared hotel room. 

"Gomen..." he apologized in japanese, quickly switching to english, "It's not that, I'm just tired," he said, avoiding looking into Viktor's eyes.

"Yuuri I just asked you if you were tired, "giggled the other resting his chin in Yuuri's shoulder.

"Sorry," said Yuuri with a knot in his stomach. "There... there is something I need to talk about. With you. I need to talk with you."

 _Get it together_ , he told himself.

Viktor turned Yuuri around and cupped his cheek with one hand, the other entwining their fingers as he pressed a kiss to his forehead, "Sure, what is it?" he asked carefully, searching for the answer in his lover's eyes, which were, in fact, avoiding him.

Yuuri dropped dead on his bed without even taking off his shoes. He watched as Viktor undressed and went for a bath. Patiently he waited, sitting on the bed facing the window. Barcelona was a beautiful city, he really enjoyed the previous day when he and Viktor went sightseeing.

Remembering how Viktor kissed him after they exchanged rings made him blush, and so he decided to distract himself with his phone, scrolling through social media until Viktor came out. 

"Yuuri, what did you wanted to talk to me about?" he asked, sitting in front of him still drying his hair with the towel. He looked radiant even immediately after taking a shower, taking Yuuri's breath away.

His smile was soft and his eyes had a bright light in them, almost shattering Yuuri's heart as he spoke.

"After the final, let's end this." he blurted out, nervousness detonating in his voice and hands clenched in painful fists.

Yuuri wouldn't have known since he was staring at his hands, but Viktor's eyes were so big he would have laughed. Tears welled up in both men's eyes.

"I-I don't want to hold you back!" Yuuri shouted, his feeling tormenting him enough for him to be oblivious of his volume. "I am really happy and glad you decided to coach me and these months with you in them are the happiest memories I'll ever have but I want... I want you to be happy! You don't have to stay by my side because that is clearly not what you want. Let's end this. You should be doing what makes you happy."

Viktor's voice came low and steady, yet sharp and hurt.

"And what is that that I want?"

There was bitterness in his tone and he spoke slowly, almost challenging Yuuri to answer. For Yuuri, he was being told _you don't know me so shut up._ His heart felt like it was being ripped off his chest but still he was decided to getting through with this.

It took a few seconds for Yuuri to find his voice, but when he did it wasn't shaking.

"If you want to go back to skating do it! You are clearly missed and everyone thinks you are wasting your time coaching me. Do not get me wrong..."he felt something inside him break, slowly turning into pieces as he continued to speak,"you are a great coach and I am thankful for you being in my life but... this is not what you want. You want to skate."

Slowly, Yuuri tried to even his breathing and calm down.

"I love you, Viktor. And I want to see you happy."

After a minute or so of awkward silence, he gathered the courage to raise his eyes.

He hadn't expected to see Viktor staring at anything with tears in his eyes and some others rolling down his cheeks. 

"V-Vi-Viktor?" he asked with concern. 

The last thing Yuuri had thought of was this conversation making Viktor cry. He had considered giggles and pleasured smiles, maybe guilty eyes or in the worst scenario being yelled at. But he didn't think he was capable of making him cry. Yuuri himself was a sobbing mess and was definitely not having the time of his life, he felt like dying but it never crossed his mind that Viktor wasn't having a great time either. Some part of him thought Viktor had been asking for this, that he wanted to be free and leave Yuuri but didn't want to hurt him so he decided to wait until Yuuri left him.

"Viktor..." he tried once again, fighting the impulse of reaching out for him.

When his eyes locked with Yuuri's, Yuuri felt his whole world crumble.

"Yuuri... I want _you_."

Yuuri stared at him, confused. 

"What?"

Viktor smiled. And God Yuuri felt so relieved to see him smile he let out an awful high-pitched whine.

"I want you, Yuuri. I want to be with you. To support you. Both as your coach and husband." He reached out and grabbed Yuuri's right hand, pressing a kiss to his knuckles just like he had done at the airport after the Rostlecom Cup. With tears still in his eyes, he caressed Yuuri's ring before looking at him in the eyes. "If you still want me, of course."

This time, Yuuri couldn't look away.

"Please don't say that. I know you still long for the ice. I saw how you looked at everyone today. If you want to go back, I'll be glad to support you."

"It's true I love skating, but there is nothing in this world I love more than you."

Yuuri blushed and looked away, pulling the hand to his chest. He wasn't prepared for Viktor denying it, he had zero ideas of how to react.

"Ever since your drunk ass wiped the floor with me at last year's dance-off I've felt every single emotion I had to give."

Viktor stood up and took Yuuri's glasses off to press him against his chest in a tight hug.

"I felt immeasurable joy when you asked me to dance with you last year, "he giggled at Yuuri's embarrassed whine. "I felt sad when I had to take you back to your room, passed out and half naked with that horrible tie in your head, mostly sad because you gripped my shirt and refused to let me go."

Yuuri pushed his head further into the others' chest, wrapping his arms around him. Burying his face in shame and comfort. Only Viktor was able to calm him down with a hug and a few words. Not that his friends and family hadn't tried, but it just was not the same.

Yuuri felt stupid, so stupid for ever doubting Viktor's love for him.

"I was really excited when I saw that video of you skating my routine. It even turned me on a bit, to be honest."

He didn't have to look at him to know Viktor was now smirking after Yuuri slightly punched him.

"My heart was in my mouth when I saw you running toward me at the hot springs. Then it fell to my feet when I realized you had forgotten the banquet," he admitted."But then I knew it, it was my chance to seduce you just like you had seduced me."

"Viktor?"

"Yes,  _moya lyubov?"_

"Thank you. For everything."

"You already said that, when you proposed," Viktor reminded him with a soft laugh.

 Yuuri stood up and hid his face in the crook of Viktor's neck. He felt a small smile blossom in his lips when he his lover's hand stocked his hair at a steady pace.

"I don't care how many times I have to remind you that I love you beyond any reason, I will always do. So tell your anxiety to go and fuck itself, okay?" He requested with a soft and warm voice which made Yuuri laugh and nod. "Also, you better win tomorrow because I want to get married." 

Yuuri snorted. It was almost a threat. 

He looked up and hesitantly pressed a kiss to Viktor's lips, which was welcomed eagerly. 

 _I love yous_ were exchanged before falling to the bed, fingers laced and lips not leaving the other.

**Author's Note:**

> DUDES EPISODE ELEVEN FUCKED ME UP SO BAD 
> 
> Also be my friend  
> tumblr: paladorksinlove.tumblr.com


End file.
